Top ten personal communicaton tips

You’ve got a story to tell! In this practical and helpful article, Roy Todd gives his top ten tips on how you can communicate it for all its worth with your un-churched friends.

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Some think that a Christian is like a lawyer whose job is to persuade the jury (the un-churched) that what they believe is true. This actually misses the whole point of Acts 1:8. Jesus never asked us to be lawyers. He said, “You will be my witnesses”. In the courtroom scenario, the job of a witness is to say what they've seen! This is exactly the job of a Christian - to say what you've seen.

Remember, it’s not your job to prove the existence of God – you are the proof! The power of your personal story can never be underestimated. It can defeat any argument. That’s why it's a good thing to make full use of it.

It’s your story that no one can deny. It's actually the most powerful tool you have! So learn to use it to your advantage.

Here are my top ten tips to help you confidently communicate the story of how God has changed your life with your un-churched friends, family and colleagues:

Be adaptable. It’s not always appropriate to go into great detail about your past when telling your story. Don’t be so intense either that you frighten people away! Try to judge how long you have to tell it and adapt your story to that time-frame. If someone’s really interested, they’ll ask you for more. Also, adapt your story to the needs or interests of the person listening: tell them about the experiences you’ve had that are the most relevant to them.

Be honest. Be careful about exaggerating. Becoming a Christian isn’t a key to a life without struggles and stress! Never give the impression that if someone becomes a Christian they’ll never have any problems again. Of course they’ll still encounter difficulties. However, with God any obstacle can be overcome. Has God ever helped you with struggles? Why not share how.

Be optimistic. If being a Christian really is the best life in the whole world, then this needs to come across to un-churched people. Let your enthusiasm be reflected when you’re communicating your story, though make sure it’s genuine optimism and not a superficial act. Remember: when telling your story, always be more excited about your future than about your past!

Be humorous. Humour is a great way of disarming people, showing you’re human and down to earth. It’s also a great way of making a serious point. Don’t take yourself too seriously. If you truly feel valued you can afford to relax and be honest about your life – bumps and all!

Be friendly. If you want someone to listen to you, be warm and inviting towards them. They’ll be drawn to you. Make it your ambition to treat everybody with respect, dignity and politeness. If you do, the vast majority of people will listen to you. Seemingly minor things like remembering people’s names are actually major things.

Be sensitive. Never try to force or rush someone into becoming a Christian. After all, only God can convince someone of their need of his forgiveness. If someone makes a premature decision, it is unlikely to last. People need to recognise for themselves their own need to experience God’s forgiveness. Listen carefully to what people are saying and try to work out where they are on the journey towards faith. Then take it from there.

Be compassionate. Love people for who they are. God does. Don’t have a desire to lead someone to Christ so you can brag about it in church next Sunday. Ask God to give you compassion for people – especially the unlovable.

Be patient. Remember, God’s timing is always right. So when it seems that someone dismisses you as a Christian – don’t despair. God knows what he’s doing. Sometimes people will ask questions that you simply won’t have the answers to. Never let frustration dictate how you respond. Be patient, and if you don’t have the answer to a question, be honest and say so. They’ll respect that. But don’t end it there. Say you will do your best to find the answer for them, and come back to them later with what you have found.
Be full of the Holy Spirit. The Bible tells us to “be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). We need the Spirit’s empowerment in order to be more effective communicators of God’s good news. Acts 1:8 says, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses…” Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you afresh each day. He will create opportunities for you to communicate your faith with un-churched people – and you’ll be amazed at what happens.

Be real. Don’t use religious jargon. Speak in terms that an un-churched person will understand. Talk about the difference God has made in your life and communicate it in a way that connects with the person you’re conversing with. Using practical examples of what God has done in your life is better than just leaving them with dull theology.

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